The film follows vampire hunter Jack Crow and his merry band of Slayers as they
hunt down nests of vampires, dragging them out into the sunlight where
they burst into flames with the ferocity of a pop-tart jammed in a toaster.
It all starts off promising enough with The Master of the nest surviving
the onslaught who then proceeds to deliver his vengeance on the party hunting
him down and anyone else who stands in his way.
But then it all starts to petter out. The violence was pretty weak, the effects
pretty poor and the plot just sagged towards a rather lackluster climax.
Along the way we find that Crow is financed by the Vatican and we are treated to
yet another explanation as to how and why vampires exist; this time it's all the
fault of the Roman Catholic Church. Having decided that Valek, now The
Master, was a pretty evil guy, many, many years ago, they performed an old,
and illegal, exorcism on him, only to cock it up, turn it into a half
completed, inverse exorcism which transformed him into what he is now.
Now everyone likes to come up with their own theories about what vampires can
and can't do, what kills them and how did they arise but, whilst this latest
theory has some merits, the way it was delivered put it on a par with the
midichlorian c--p Lucas concocted in The Phantom Menace.
It does however serve to provide the rest of the plot as Valek seeks out
The Black Cross used at the initial exorcism so he can re-enact, and
complete, the ceremony allowing him to exist during the daylight.
The twist at the end, that the Cardinal running Crow was actually helping
Valek get to The Black Cross and was going to perform the exorcism, may have
been Pretty Neat TM had it not been for the
Cardinal's claim that he was doing this because, during his whole life, he had
become disillusioned about God, having seen no signs and no miracles, and had
chosen to find immortality on the other side.
I may be wrong, but it seems to me, that anyone who believes in the power of an
inverse exorcism to create the ultimate evil would have no trouble in
perceiving that there may also be other, alternative forces at work in the
universe.
Anyway, the Cardinal gets his come-uppance, and heads off to see if God really
does exist or not, Crow survives his doomed role in the exorcism, Valek
becomes another pop-tart statistic, and the film ends on a strange note with
Crow, "I killed my own father because he was a vampire; don't think I won't
kill you", letting his former sidekick along with his new love, both now
vampires, stroll off into the sunset whilst swearing he will come after them
and kill them.
Crow obviously forgetting Rule One of the Slayer's Rule Book; don't be a w--ker.
A very poor offering from Carpenter, lacking the suspense and originality which
he has shown in other offerings.
Woods stood out well against the background, looking good in his role although
all around seemed rather superficial.
Let's have a round of applause for Buffy - The Vampire Slayer; at least
it doesn't take itself too seriously.
