- Wasting two hours of my life
- Clogging up the mainstream cinemas for six weeks so there weren't many new
films to see
- Showing that money doesn't make a film a success
- Proving my pre-release predictions to be right
Let's face it George, you may be able to haul in the money to make a film but
you can't write a screenplay or script befitting that money.
When it was announced that cinema goers in America were paying to see a
film just to watch the trailer then leaving, I started to get worried.
Not many films deserve this type of hype or acclaim; those that do are
the ones which people have seen and applauded, films like
Saving Private Ryan.
Hype generated from within the
Fun factory itself, before release, tends to be an attempt to drag people
onto the roller coaster of hysteria, hoping they'll ignore the fact that the
film is downright c--p, classic examples being Dick Tracey and
Lost in Space.
Now Star Wars - Episode 1, The Phantom Menace can add itself to that
later list.
To say the film was a disappointment would be an understatement, but not
unexpected.
From scene one the dialogue grated and the script never got beyond something
which a ten year old could have written for their first production. The
insistence on having someone on-screen introducing every character, event
and location, hopefully, showed the age group the film was aimed at, however,
I suspect that Lucas had indeed tried his best, F minus.
The plot was tissue paper thin and those who saw the original Star Wars
back in 1977 will be able to fill in the gaps without having to suffer
Episode 2 and 3.
The characters were wooden and the acting was stunted, except for the animated
Jar Jar Binx; this was a sad parody of the stereotypical Black Man from
times gone by as he talked the jive and strutted the walk. More offensive than
humorous and I'm surprised that this point hasn't been picked upon by the
non-white folks in America. A reincarnation of Huggy Bear from Starsky
and Hutch is something we can live without.
Lucas also veers close to offence with his suggestion that Anikan Skywalker is
born of Immaculate Conception and then comes up with some
cock-and-bull story about how little organisms inside of every cell allow a
Jedi to Feel The Force.
Almost every Science Fiction or Fantasy film involving alien lifeforms or
those with incredible powers has, in the background, some concocted religious
system or unbelievable scientific fact to give justification to their
characters' skills and purpose, even Xena Princess Warrior, but none do
it as crassly or as unnecessarily as Lucas has.
The Incredible Hulk has a tendency to turn green and burst out of his
underpants due to a laboratory accident, Superman had his powers because
he came from the planet Krypton. These are accepted as vehicles to get the plot
underway and little more. Lucas seems to have a desire to push his strange,
fictional, beliefs to the fore; why is a mystery, but it's a little worrying.
Without credible acting, dialogue, or plot the only in your face claim
to anything impressive was the huge amount of computer generated imagery used
throughout the film.
Both A Bug's Life and Antz, and
Toy Story before, showed exactly how good computer animation can be
and will undoubtedly be the benchmarks against which other offerings will be
judged for a long time to come.
Some of the computer imagery was particularly impressive, the underwater
fish sequence along with the city and background sets, but generally
it came over very poorly.
The actual animation of Jar Jar Binks, the real lead character of the film, and
other creatures were very impressive but their matting into the film was less
so.
The atrocious lip-synching was noticable from the start and detracted greatly
from the tremendous efforts made to make the creatures appear realistic.
The Drones were fairly well done but, again, all efforts in the right direction
were ruined by the choice of a stupid accent and their insistence on saying,
"Roger, Roger", in a manner more suited to a children's, breakfast television,
animation series.
There were also a number of scenes which should have been re-shot, laid down
again with different animation, or simply cut which weren't.
Whilst battling the
Drones, it was impossible that everyone survived unscathed, given the directions
the Drones were facing. The lack of pasted in laser bolts from Drones not two
feet away from a Jedi with his back turned reduced realism to below that offered
from The A-Team.
When Anikan won the Ben Hur style speeder race, his friend, going for a
low-five with an animated colleague who responded entirely wrongly stood
out like a sore thumb, more so than a watch in the original Ben Hur
itself.
And, on the opposite side of the coin, the sudden jump between Anikan trying
out his speeder and his cut arm being treated suggested some sort of
accident scene which was perhaps cut from the UK released version.
The close-up of a Lady Shave razor, purporting to be a communications
device, makes one wonder where this film's budget had really been spent.
There were some moments of superb animation but these were few and far between.
There were probably many which I didn't notice because they were so well
done; this highlights how bad the poor animations and graphics were in other
places.
Matting animated characters against a backdrop which is nothing more than
another layer, out of focus, does not work, the expected perspectives and depth
of field goes to pot. It's something I'd do if I were trying to make a film, but
I wouldn't have a budget the size that Industrial Light and Magic had.
Some may argue that I'm being extremely picky and prejudiced against a film,
which I hadn't expected to like, because so many have enjoyed it; to an extent,
perhaps I am.
I have seen excellent films made on incredibly small budgets, Dark Star
is a classic of the Science Fiction genre which set John Carpenter on his road
to success and Pi, and the, post Phantom Menace,
Blair Witch Project, have been refreshing examples of
low budget films which have delivered a lot more than many would have been
expected.
Lucas had so much money to play with that he could have done almost anything he
had wanted, what he finally achieved on screen amounted to little more than
squandering that money away; how many other, smaller, better, films could have
been produced if that money had been spread more widely ?
The first Star Wars was innovative and original, it was an adventure
with Gung Hoism in space. That the script, screenplay and plot was weak in
places can be forgiven because the whole amounted to something unique and new.
The later films, and now this prequel, have shown a steady decline in quality.
There was a rumour that Lucas had ordered much of the computer generated
imagery to be redone because he wasn't happy; if there's any truth in that
rumour I suspect that he was hard pushed to solve all the problems under
budget.
The final film was a mix of good and bad computer imagery but even perfection
in this area wouldn't really have made the film any better.
On the whole, the film was incredibly boring and it was a struggle to keep
with it after halfway through.
This is the first Star Wars film in which humour has played a large part
in the proceedings. The humour wasn't particularly funny, incisive or even
well applied.
The overt racial characterisation of Binks was particularly unwarranted, and
on the whole, the
jokes were childish or plain patronising; "There's always a bigger fish", shows
just how poor Lucas's scripting skills are, a lack of real humour and, once
again, exposes something of the strange message he believes Star Wars
has for us all.
I'm now seriously wondering if I should have gone to see Austin Powers - The
Spy Who F--ked Me instead; and that's a worrying thing to be thinking.
Those who creamed their trousers when they saw the trailers may well
have seen the film in a better light than I did; I suspect that their view will
be, "It was a great adventure yarn", or, "It concisely explained how the
original film came to be what it was".
I disagree on the first point, it was neither thrilling nor captivating, and
whilst accepting it explored some of the background which would have been nice
to have had back in 1977, it could have been done a lot better, and it needn't
take three feature films to clear up a couple of minor plot points.
The Phantom Menace will undoubtedly make a lot of money and easily break
even; I myself have now contributed to its financial success.
Financial success however is not the true measure of artistic quality.
I await the next episodes begrudgingly; I'll go and see them, but I don't expect
to see anything better than I just have - poor script, poor dialogue, weak
plot and a mixed bag of computer animation.
In the meantime, I'm sure there will be a lot of better films, even if they are
not so financially successful.
